


Blind

by JoAsakura



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2604485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAsakura/pseuds/JoAsakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wishing doesn't make it so.</p><p>This is based on bioticjelly's "Villain Shepard" comic (and cheerleaded by tevinterredeemer )</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blind

The armoured gauntlet on his throat is inexorable, cold and black. But nothing is colder than the eyes behind it as polycarbonate weave and soft flesh crumple under the relentless, silent grind of hardsuit servomotors.

Kaidan looks at those eyes through the veil of moisture building in his own and wonders how he could have been so blind.

~~

Earlier:

There was a knot in his stomach, a hot sick thrill as he stood in Alliance HQ, fidgeting as the staff bustled wildly about. It hadn't been hard to find out they were letting Shepard out of lockup, to present him to the Board.

They hadn't spoken since Horizon, and Kaidan didn't know why he was there. If he was punishing Shepard for the way the Commander's scent had lingered in his nose after they'd embraced. Punishing himself for the way he'd jerked off in his temporary billet until he was almost raw, replaying that scent and the stricken look in Shepard's beautiful eyes over and over again.

He saw the figure, still in dark blue BDUs and that sick thrill in his stomach lurched. "Shepard." He blurted out as the Commander passed by, then paused. 

The other man's gaze was distant for a moment, then focused, hard, on the Major. "Alenko." He said stiffly, looking Kaidan over as if he were something beneath notice. "See you around."

"So, you know the Commander?" The burly lieutenant next to him asked.

"...I used to." Kaidan said, shifting uncomfortably.

~~

Liara was bleeding out, a puddle of blue and white as the red martian winds howled outside. Cartilage and bone and muscle collapsing in micrometre increments under Shepard's grip.

"Did you miss me, Kaidan?" This thing with Shepard's face and his voice but not his eyes, not his smile said. "I heard you missed me."

Biotics sparked fitfully, Kaidan's damaged amp refusing to channel his terror and rage into tangible force. The sickness in his guts a cold lump now. "Who..." he wheezed, vision greying at the edges.

~~

Earth was burning and Shepard was barking orders at them, sorting through the gear in the shuttle bay.

Mars. They were going to Mars and Kaidan scrubbed through his hair. Too much. It was all too much and Shepard was shoving past Vega to get to the weapons.

He'd been locked up for six months. Interrogated relentlessly about the disaster at the Alpha Relay. Kaidan knew the rift between them might never be healed - but the light that had been in Shepard's eyes, the warmth behind them that had never failed to inspire. It was gone and Kaidan felt responsible for that.

"Shepard." He finally spoke up, over the song of the Normandy's drive core shaking the beams in the shuttle bay. "It's good to.."

Shepard's hand was on his face in a flash, cupping Kaidan's jaw and dragging him close. Behind them, Vega made a squeak, but all Kaidan was aware of was the harsh gleam of those blue eyes searing him to his core. "We should talk later. Maybe." Shepard said, dropping his hand and turning away as if the major had ceased to exist.

~~

"Cerberus had to make sure there was always a Commander Shepard." The man said. "I understand the previous model died a big damn hero against the Collectors." He sneered, fingers still closing with hideous, perfect slowness.

(I was blind because I wanted it to be you. I wanted you back. I'm so sorry I let you go, Shepard. I'm so sorry I let you go.)

"I won't make the same mistakes he did. And that starts with you, Major. They said he died with your name on his lips. That's nice. Romantic. He always wanted you back." The clone tipped his head, looking Kaidan with that same icy, assessing gaze. "Did you want him too? Did you want me back on the Normandy?"

"The person i wanted back..." Kaidan sobbed, fingers digging weakly at the false Shepard's armoured wrist. "It wasn't.."

"I'll tell them you died a big damn hero too, Major Alenko." The False Shepard smiled like a snake, blue eyes cold and dead as winter.

(Shepard. I'm so sorry. I always lov...)


End file.
